Emergency Preparedness Plan

Appendix H

| Home | Parent Information |

| Title Page | Table of Contents | Previous Page | Next Page | Appendix H Contents |

HELPING A STUDENT AFTER A DEATH IN THE FAMILY
 
 

The literature indicates that during childhood, one of every twenty children in the United States will lose a parent to death, and by the age of 16, one of every five children will have lost at least one parent. If this exposure to death is extended by including the rest of a student's family and close relatives and friends, bereavement among students will occur at least a few times during each school year. Following are some suggestions for helping students face such losses.
 

1.

Remember that adults can make a difference in helping students when they have problems with death. Most adults have faced the death of loved ones and other significant losses.
 

2.

Listen and empathize. Listen closely to expressed feelings.
 

3.

Maintain a sympathetic, never-shaming attitude toward the student's age-appropriate responses.
 

4.

Respond with real feelings. The manner in which you express them is irrelevant.
 

5.

Allow the student to cry by giving permission: "Go ahead and cry _ it's all right." Permission may be necessary, since so many strong feelings are labeled as being publicly unacceptable and some students are taught to show only a stoic face in public.
 

6.

Share personal experiences with death; mention things that help others during this time. This helps to take away some of the loneliness a student feels.
 

7.

Remember that ignoring grief does not cause it to go away. Research has indicated a relationship between antisocial behavior in adolescents and unresolved grief over the death of a loved one.
 

8.

Assure younger siblings that they are not responsible for the person's death because they had negative feelings about him or her at some time.
 

9.

Be aware of what may be happening at home. Parents and siblings may experience, during the early stages of grief, physical illness, insomnia, severe depression, periods of crying, or illusions in which they see or hear the deceased.
 

10.

Expect unusual behavior. Students may evidence an inability to concentrate on school work, an unusual amount of daydreaming, a tendency to withdraw, physiological reactions such as insomnia, nightmares, general nervousness, trembling, headaches, vomiting, and excessive appetite.
 

11.

Refer students for help when necessary. This is a tricky area because sometimes normal grief looks very much like mental illness. When a teacher sees behaviors such as regressive changes in bowel and bladder control, persistent sleep problems, excessive aggression, hyperactivity, extended loss of concentration, extended withdrawal, continued regression into lower developmental behavior levels, wild swings in emotion, or thoughts that indicate a loss of contact with reality, it is time to refer that student.
 

12.

Recognize that grief may last over an extended period of time. Where grief is openly and deeply expressed, the first six months constitute the most stressful period, with recovery beginning during the first year and occurring more conclusively by the end of the second year.
 

| Title Page | Table of Contents | Previous Page | Next Page | Appendix H Contents |

| Home | Parent Information |